Well, well, well, if it isn't John, Paul, and George. Anybody need a Ringo?

Phil

Phil thinks he can Mean Girls me? How lame is that? Let me tell you something, I might be a pretty face, but I fight to win. Just like Legally Blonde!

Amazing news. The Grand Marshall in today's parade just got #MeToo'd, and they need me to fill in.

She's not a jukebox, Fonzie!

That's gonna be tough, I can smell Cinnabon.

You can't drink. You have to stay sober to drive the rest of us home.

Jay: If I didn't say it, it's a big deal, you going here.
Manny: If I didn't say it, I couldn't have done it without you.

No one wants your stupid science, Alex!

Mitchell: I ran into this guy who runs the bait shop.
Jay: Is that a gay bar?

Mitchell: I ran into this guy who runs the bait shop.
Jay: Is that a gay bar?

Gloria: Jay, don't forget Joe's new doll.
Jay: Cam and Mitchell, always pushing their agenda.

Manny: Does this feel like a short visit to you, or a long one?
Jay: The pregnant one brought a stroller.

Modern Family Quotes

We all weave a web of lies. Some we tell to try to help the ones we love, some we tell to try to fool ourselves.

Manny

That's why we chose our secret warrior signal. My first suggestion was to blow a Viking horn. Don't google that, by the way.

Phil