Well, well, well, if it isn't John, Paul, and George. Anybody need a Ringo?

Phil

Phil thinks he can Mean Girls me? How lame is that? Let me tell you something, I might be a pretty face, but I fight to win. Just like Legally Blonde!

Amazing news. The Grand Marshall in today's parade just got #MeToo'd, and they need me to fill in.

She's not a jukebox, Fonzie!

That's gonna be tough, I can smell Cinnabon.

You can't drink. You have to stay sober to drive the rest of us home.

Jay: If I didn't say it, it's a big deal, you going here.
Manny: If I didn't say it, I couldn't have done it without you.

No one wants your stupid science, Alex!

Mitchell: I ran into this guy who runs the bait shop.
Jay: Is that a gay bar?

Mitchell: I ran into this guy who runs the bait shop.
Jay: Is that a gay bar?

Gloria: Jay, don't forget Joe's new doll.
Jay: Cam and Mitchell, always pushing their agenda.

Manny: Does this feel like a short visit to you, or a long one?
Jay: The pregnant one brought a stroller.

Modern Family Quotes

But if you're always telling yourself how lucky you are, it's probably because you're afraid to ask yourself how happy you are. Right?

Dylan

Gloria: I'm taking a shower, would you like to join me?
Jay: Honey, you know there's a gun in the footlocker in the garage, if I ever say no, I want you to use it on me