Jake Harper Quotes (Page 2)
Season 10, Episode 4: "You Know What the Lollipop Is For"
Missy: You must be Jake; I am sleeping in your room.
Jake: Well, God Bless America.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 24: "Oh Look! Al Qaeda?"
Jake: Don't worry about me, worry about our nation's enemies.
• Rating: 4.7 / 5.0
Alan: This is serious; you will never amount to anything, if you sleep all day.
Walden: Morning.
Jake: I am sorry; I was just distracted by the naked billionaire that just woke up.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 22: "Why We Gave Up Women"
Jake: Honest to God, someone put that pot in my locker.
Walden: Why would someone do that?
Jake: That my friend, is the million dollar question.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 19: "Palmdale, Ech"
Eldridge: Hell yeah, she is hot.
Jake: It is not about how hot she is.
Walden: Well, thank you Jake.
Jake: It is about whether she stays hot.
• Rating: Unrated
Walden: Where is your Dad?
Jake: He is out with his mom.
Eldridge: They are picking up my grandma up at the International House of Old People.
Jake: IHOOP.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 17: "Not In My Mouth"
Jake: How old are you?
Jennifer: 24, and you?
Jake: Twenty-four and a half.
• Rating: Unrated
Jake: I need 75 bucks for the new Call of Duty.
Alan: 75 bucks for a video game?
Jake: Yes, see it as investment.
Alan: An investment?
Jake: Yes, see it this way, if I enter the army after school, I will already know how to kill terrorists.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 9: "A Fishbowl Full Of Glass Eyes"
Walden: Your son makes one heck of a wingman.
Jake: You make it easy boss.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Season 9, Episode 8: "Frodo's Headshots"
Alan: It wasn't a nut house, it was a stress clinic.
Jake: What's the difference?
Alan: About $2500 / week.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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Total Quotes: 275
