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Jackie: Are you wearing perfume?
Zoey: No. Why? Is it bad? Does it make me smell like an old lady?

By the way, your husband's testicles have migrated. I'll let you know if we find them.

Jackie: Page urology.
Fitch: That's my call. I get to say that: page urology.

There are good lies and there are bad lies. It's a little complicated.

Kevin: Most rich people live in houses, not hotels.
Jackie: That doesn't make her crazy.

Fitch [Tweeting]: If I said "cys fib," would people know that's Cystic Fibrosis?
Jackie: If I said FU, would you know that's "eat shit?"

Jackie: How can you read this crap?
Thor: Please, don't amplify my shame.

O'Hara : Do we think Zoey got her pipes cleaned?
Jackie: That's like seeing Santa naked. It's not right.

You're a moron.

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