Nurse Jackie

Saturdays 9:00 PM on Showtime
Nurse jackie

Jackie: I am here because I like you. Not because you have drugs.
Eddie: You like me, huh?
Jackie: What do you want me to say, Eddie?
Eddie: What do you think?

Jackie: I love this place, always remembers how I like my coffee.
Eddie: Yes, it remembers all things related to her.

There's lots of reasons to have kids. Just as many not to.

Coop: Jackie Peyton, armed and dangerous.
Jackie: Don't tempt me.

Kevin: Seriously, Jackie, you're nuts.
Jackie: Seriously, Kevin, you're mine.

Gloria: I'm not a prude! I was at Woodstock for Christ's sake.
Jackie: No you weren't.

She'd rather watch a fire safety video than High School Musical.

Eddie: You have a lot of pent-up anger.
Jackie: You have no idea.

My house? My kids? Are you out of your fucking mind?

Jackie: Are you wearing perfume?
Zoey: No. Why? Is it bad? Does it make me smell like an old lady?

By the way, your husband's testicles have migrated. I'll let you know if we find them.

Jackie: Page urology.
Fitch: That's my call. I get to say that: page urology.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 85 in total

Nurse Jackie Quotes

Don't ever say "ta-da." The only people that say "ta-da" are magicians or idiots.

Jackie Peyton

Percoset should never be crushed and chewed, unless you want it to hit your system like a bolt of lightening. Which is only a problem if you're afraid of lightening.

Jackie Peyton
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