Saturdays 9:00 PM on Showtime

Just keep goin'. Sometimes you don't get to keep everything you started out with.

Mike Cruz: Thanks for that by the way.
Jackie: You owe me one.
Mike Cruz: No I don't.
Jackie: That works too.

Welcome to the sh-t show.

I don't have a thing for doctors, I have a thing for drugs.

Jackie: Do you know who the father is?
O'Hara: No. I want it to be a surprise.

Coop hurt my feelings. He basically said that he never liked my hair... so now I'm gonna feel stuff?

Zoey: Did you get my emails?
Jackie: No.
Zoey: Did you check your email?
Jackie: No.

Gloria: We're having a baby! How's Disneyland?
Jackie: Disneyland sucks.

Laura: you come from a very fu-ked up place.
Jackie: I come from Queens.

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