The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Choke on my numb blue hands.

Bart: But where does the ship stop again?
Homer: I don't know. A lot of barefoot kids kicking soccer balls, shell necklaces, they really hit the poverty nicely.

Bart's been raptured and his crap's been craptured.

Marge: This is the stupidest fight ever!
Homer: We've had stupider!

Now to save on calories, I won't eat the paper in the fortune cookie.

Now I'm going to visit the only court I can never be in contempt to of - food court.

Homer: What happened to you guys? You used to be cool.
Robot: We are the same temperature we have always been.

I'm all alone, and when there's some problem due to human error, guess who's to blame?

Homer: Finally, a supermarket with a clear premise - island something. Bart: It's like going to Hawaii without all the murderous locals.

Homer (on Maggie): Let her slice off the tip of your ear and she'll go right to sleep.
Carl: No
Homer: That's not a choice you get to make.

Oh, I always thought tarred and feathered was just a figure of speech. Good luck patching pot holes and stuffing pillows now!

Lisa: I pick up books like you pick up beers.
Homer: Then you have a serious reading problem.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 1523 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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