Homer Simpson Quotes
Writing is for bathroom walls and acting is for getting out of DUIs.
"Spot the hidden objects." Boy, you're pretty pushy for a book I just met.
Honey, this sounds like a noble experiment, but like Prohibition, it will end in a hail of bullets.
Bart: Dad, what are you watching?
Homer: I think it's a Terrence Malick movie.
GPS: Switching to male voice, so you will obey.
Homer: Finally, a supervisor!
Like all childless couples they troll the beaches waiting for the egg-layers to wander off from their young.
Worry-wart Marge. You don't look a Trojan horse in the mouth.
What women really want is a guy who's confident enough to go completely downhill after marriage and know she'll still love him.
When I found out shrimp cocktails had no alcohol, I really lost interest.
Homer: Listen, I gotta know. You're not just being nice to me because, in a pinch, you could make candles from my fat.
Lloyd: Well, that is a big part of it.
Homer: It's okay. I know what I am.
Do not question the wisdom of Tom Skerritt.
If Jesus had a gun, he'd be alive today.