The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Happy Anni..birth..tine's...shark week?

Stopping all Americans from voting is for the protection of all Americans.

The Rich Texan

Marge, I was just being a good husband by pretending to agree with you while secretly undermining your agenda.

Geez. I mean I'm no Luis Guzman, but I'm alright.

Awww, sweetie, sometimes a mysterious invisible being from hell waits for a family to go to sleep then kills them. Now, go to bed.

A black hole...(whispering) I'm sorry, can we call it that?

Come on, you can't look at that infinitely dense little guy and not want to feed it something.

You've learned a very valuable life lesson, boy, which is that love doesn't exist except briefly between a man and woman before marriage. After that it's just hanging out with someone who kinda hates you but you can't get it together to leave.

Bart: Come on, Dad, you love New York, now that your two least favorite buildings have been obliterated: Old Penn Station and Shea stadium.
Homer: Lousy out-dated relics.

I cheat on my diet, but nobody knows cause the damage is on the inside and the first warning sign is sudden death.

Hmmm...historically inaccurate.

Homer: People here do not respect boundaries.
Ned: Homer, did you just buckle your belt through my loop?

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 1539 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart