If I wanted to pay for commercials I can't skip, I'd sign up for Hulu Plus.

Homer: Wait, you guys saw the new Radioactive man sequel?
Carl: Uh, it's not sequel,it's a reboot.
Lenny: Actually, this one undoes the stuff from the last one, so it's a deboot.

global warming. Huh, by pure coincidence every scientist was right.

Alright, 80s party! Where's the beef? Tear down that wall because I think the beef is behind that wall.

Homer: You like lies? Here's a few: College is expensive but it's worth it.

Homer: I'm sorry, Homer Junior. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.
Bart: Therapy, please.
Lisa: Me too.

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

Marge: I'm a Schwarzenegger wife!
Homer: But you're also the housekeeper. so it's all good.

Eduardo: Did you hair burn off in a fire that trapped you in a candy factory?
Homer: I wish.

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

Marge: I feel kind of melancholy.
Homer: Hmm...melon-collie.

Marge, they knew what they were getting into when their parents sold them to the circus.

Now hop on my cycle, there's nothing to fear. And we shall have candy...and maybe some beer.

Bart: You have some big underpants to fill. I didn't know they made underoos in size 52
Homer: They're called superoos, son, with pictures of the cast of The Expendables.
Bart: More like The Expandables.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.