Well family, we should be proud. We took on corporate America and broke even.

Homer: Marge, did you replace our regular mirror with a magical mirror from a mystical salesman at a weird store that if we went back to find it it wouldn't be there anymore?
Marge: No
Homer: AAAAHHH!!

Homer: Marge, who would give up eating steak in the matrix to go slurp goo in Zion?
Marge: We don't have that movie here.

Oh, they're so cute when they're Duplo.

It's not selling out. It's co-branding. Co-branding!

Oh, why are you doing this to me booze, I drank every kind of you.

Do you know how embarrassed I was to get a call at my arraignment for my behavior during the pub crawl because of a voodoo curse my son placed on his art teacher?

Homer: I am as healthy as a horse.
Marge: Horses only live thirty years.

Homer: Whoo hoo! I've got a date with my daughter!
Cletus: Yeah, we've all been there. No need to act like you just invented air conditioning.

The only thing that keeps me from living here is that fish that swims up your pee stream. That is a deal breaker.

Emojis! Now she's gone to far.

Kettle-corn, the heroin of the farmer's market.

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.


Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!