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The-simpsons

My head hairs! I'm bald!

Carl: Why don't we talk about it over at Moe's?
Homer: It's not even noon.
Carl: Yeah, I got a watch, egghead.

Well, I'm not one for taking new jobs on a whim. But as we say in the snow plow business, I'm your astronaut.

Homer: Boy, why are your friends so dirty?
Bart: Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?
Homer: Touche.

Hehehe, the brain is so stupid.

Homer: Listen, we swore we'd never go to sleep angry at each other.
Marge: I'm not going to sleep.
Homer: Well you didn't have two beers with your lunch.

Marge, I thought this was an innocuous lunch, but it's become terribly ocuous.

Hibbert:You may never see a film in 3D again. Hehehe.
Homer: But the storytelling is finally catching up to the technology.

Ned: I want you to punch me in the eye. If you do, then we're even according to Exodus, Leviticus, and Matthew.
Homer: You went and hired a law firm, eh. That's pretty aggressive.

Ned: Homer, I can't believe you're partaking with my parents.
Homer: Yeah, it's medicinal; we had a pain in our neck!

Oh, my gay dad is gay for gays.

Writing is for bathroom walls and acting is for getting out of DUIs.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 1517 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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