Marge: Homer, you have to stop dropping your pants for everyone who claims they're a doctor.
Homer: Fine.

  • Permalink: Fine.
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Wow, this place is completely alien, but everything's in English, just like Canada!

Homer: Look at all these knobs and buttons. They're clearly a superior race. Maybe that means they'll be nice to us.
Lisa: You mean like Europeans were to the Native Americans or the Belgians were to The Congo?
Homer: That's right, pick the only two times in history where things got messy.

What the? This isn't Halloween.

Thank you magical creatures of the mall! You have all taught me a Christmas message I'll never forget. The place to get drunk is at home.

You're all right stupid Flanders, you're all right.

Homer: Yeah, but doesn't the money go to schools?
Apu: You have been to our schools, what do you think?

Homer: Well good luck assembling all those toys without me!
Patty: We already did it!
Homer: Ah! The ghost of Marge future!

Homer: What I feel is envy.
Lisa: Wow! He's right.

Bart: What's a game show?
Homer: Something you make sketches about.

I want his fame and fortune so much. Why must the lords of rock be so cruel?

Oh, what kind of erotic asphyxia?

The Simpsons Quotes

Officer Eddie: (reading Steve Sax's license) Well well, Steve Sax, from New York City.
Officer Lou: I heard some guy got killed in New York City and they never solved the case. But you wouldn't know anything about that now, would you, Steve?
(Lou and Eddie laugh)
Steve Sax: But there are hundreds of unsolved murders in New York City.
Officer Lou: You don't know when to keep your mouth shut, do you, Saxxy Boy?

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!