They say you catch more flies with honey, I say with fly traps.

Mr. Burns

The only reason you haven't been fired is because your file here has been holding up a sofa that was missing a leg.

Moe

Look Moe the least you can let me do is anything I want.

Homer: Marge I believe you're forgetting America's greatest wartime wheelchair-bound leader, Professor X of the X-Men.
Marge: It's not that Professor X wouldn't get up, it's that he couldn't!

Marge, you're my wife of ten years and I love you, but I must observe the teachings of this man I just met tonight. Now the first thing I have to do is make amends with the bathroom scale.

I have so many questions for you. First of all, is this floor reinforced?

Bart: Thinking back, I'm kinda surprised mom and dad let a crazy man spend all night in my bedroom.
Homer: Simpler times.

Between your genius and my nothing we make a great team, come on give me a hug!

Fine, we'll both go, and if anyone asks you something you don't understand, just say protons.

Ok Marge we can go to the circus, maybe I can finally find out why a man would think a stool is a proper defense against a lion.

I don't have time for childish games. If I don't do my job, atoms go boom!

Well I guess we've learned that of all the countless planets in the universe, we have evolved into the most inedible species. Like three bean salad at a barbecue, we will remain untouched.

Lisa

The Simpsons Quotes

Marge: Tomorrow night, it might be nice to go out for dinner.
Homer: Tomorrow night? Friday? Pork chop night? Marge! We haven't missed pork chop night since the great pig scare in '87!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart