The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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The bed is lifting me, the elevator at work can't even do that.

You went to Hell and came back a winner like Jesus

It's in Hell, the Inferno, Perdition, Arizona without the golf

Homer, if I ever seem that senile, get a gun and...what are you doing with that gun?!

Grandpa

Well family, we should be proud. We took on corporate America and broke even.

Homer: Marge, did you replace our regular mirror with a magical mirror from a mystical salesman at a weird store that if we went back to find it it wouldn't be there anymore?
Marge: No
Homer: AAAAHHH!!

Homer: Marge, who would give up eating steak in the matrix to go slurp goo in Zion?
Marge: We don't have that movie here.

Oh, they're so cute when they're Duplo.

It's not selling out. It's co-branding. Co-branding!

Oh, why are you doing this to me booze, I drank every kind of you.

Do you know how embarrassed I was to get a call at my arraignment for my behavior during the pub crawl because of a voodoo curse my son placed on his art teacher?

Homer: I am as healthy as a horse.
Marge: Horses only live thirty years.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 1534 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!