The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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I was born a rolling 80's, I'll die a rolling 80's.

And I'd like to thank the women who's been inspiring me for the last 25 years... the cute one from The Bangles.

Don't feel bad boy. Everyone makes mistakes. Yours is just public and expensive.

Herman Millwood: Is Bart Simpson here? Because I'm about to make him and his family very wealthy
Homer: Wealthy? Remember the guy that drove you to school that one time?

What has she done!? I feel like I'm married to Richard Gere.

A lot of great movie stars have gray hairs. Like all those women we loved in the 80's.

Apu: Mr. Homer, you inadvertently left your nuclear power plant ID in the birthday card rack.
Homer: I can't lose that, it's the best picture I have.
Apu: I am more concerned with global terrorism. America's enemies would give anything for your nuclear knowledge.
Homer: Yeah. I do know a lot about nuclears.
Apu: And America has so many enemies: Iran, Iraq, China, Mordor, the hoochies that laid low Tiger Woods, undesirable immigrants, by which I mean everyone that came after me, including my children.

I never thought of fatherhood as something that could affect a kid.

Life was so much easier when a machine told you when to laugh.

Homer: Oh, you beautiful man!
Flanders: That feeling is mutual of Omaha.
Homer: God, you're hilarious!

This is late for Marge. I assume. I've never been home at this hour.

Marge: Why do you have to eat have to eat peanuts in the shower?
Homer: It gives me the fresh circus feeling in the morning.

Displaying quotes 181 - 192 of 1527 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!