The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Dr. Zander, you made me see my life through Bart's neck.

Strangling, it's not the only tool in my parenting toolbox, but it's my sharpest.

Marge: Just cause everyone else is doing the wave doesn't mean you have to.
Homer: No one else is doing it. I'm trying to start it.

Well, it was your idea to give him self-esteem to begin with!

I hope you kids are enjoying this [stadium] because you and your children will be paying for this long after the team leaves the city.

Homer: Can we at least get some french fries?
Cheech: Too high in trans fats.
Homer: Awwwwww, stop speaking Spanish.

Marge: Remember, on the road the only vice you can indulge in is gluttony. Save lust and rage for me and the kids.
Homer: Honey, don't worry, I'm gonna come back so horny and angry.

I can't do reefer comedy, I'm drunk! Two different animals.

Bart: Who the hell asre Cheech and Chong?
Homer: Cheech and Chong were the Beavis and Butthead of their day!
Bart: Who are Beavis and Butthead?

Their can do will bail out our won't try every time.

Homer: We're in the same boat.
Pharmaceutical Exec: My boat has me and hundreds of lawyers. Your boat is you and a lot of people with their eyes popped out.

That's great honey, if you were a boy you'd be a scientist.

Displaying quotes 181 - 192 of 1539 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart