Homer Simpson Quotes
I guess it's not much when you look at real problems in the world like Major League umpires not using instant replay.
Homer: My doctor said don't walk.
Marge: That was a traffic signal!
Bart: If fairytales have taught us anything, first wives are the best and second wives are terrible.
Homer: Just the opposite of real life.
When we see each other again, you'll be an old man and I'll be a baby!
Homer: First the good news: two of your kids are not locked in the car.
Cake, will you make my stomach the happiest bag of acid in the world?
Marge: Homey, you sure know how to please a woman.
Homer: As long as it doesn't involve losing weight or changing my pants.
Like Mozart and Johnny Knoxville, my genius can not be stopped.
I'm not a hairdresser. I just put a new lid on a couple of trash cans.
Put a James Taylor CD in the stereo so they think it was a suicide.
Marge: In a good marriage you never say, "I told you so."
Homer: Which is good for me because you're always right.
He's cheating on Selma? Why go out for hamburger when you have rancid steak at home?