Homer Simpson Quotes
Halloween - the one time of the year where the squalor of our home works to our advantage.
I'm the floor. I can't move. So far a normal Sunday morning...
So much violence on the surface world, I'm going back.
No! Not the middle seat!
Wayne: Your town appears on no maps or charts.
Homer: Yeah, they couldn't find a Google map photo without me naked or urinating.
Marge: And when there was a map makers convention here, we all got Lou Gerig's disease.
Homer: Not the one you're thinking of though, there's another one.
I guess it's not much when you look at real problems in the world like Major League umpires not using instant replay.
Homer: My doctor said don't walk.
Marge: That was a traffic signal!
Bart: If fairytales have taught us anything, first wives are the best and second wives are terrible.
Homer: Just the opposite of real life.
When we see each other again, you'll be an old man and I'll be a baby!
Homer: First the good news: two of your kids are not locked in the car.
Cake, will you make my stomach the happiest bag of acid in the world?
Marge: Homey, you sure know how to please a woman.
Homer: As long as it doesn't involve losing weight or changing my pants.