Homer: The point of the dinosaurs is: no matter what we do, an asteroid is going to wipe us out. So we should party hard and wreck the place!

I've come around on hipsters. It takes a lot of guts to all wear the same hat.

I don't eat anything new unless I've tried it before.

Marge: What if we roll pennies and go to the dollar store?
Homer: That's good, Marge. Get all the terrible ideas out of your system.

Marge: How come they never call me fun mom?
Homer: A family's like a team. On every team you have the slam dunking mega star and the referee.

From the dad that brought you cemetery paintball and go carts on real roads..

Homer: I won't say, but his initials are S.F.
Roz: Stupid Flanders.

Homer: You're my personal savior.
Ned: Thank you but i don't approve..
Homer: Hail flanders, mightier than jesus

She's the most evil person to come out of Ohio since LeBron. But at least he thought long and hard before screwing everybody over. In public. For no reason.

If an emergency alarm goes off, there's ear plugs in the top drawer.

Marge, get my seal club, the big one.

For further communication I will require more beans.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

(Bart shows the whole classroom the tape for his project called, "How Kittens Are Born: The Ugly Truth")
Bart: and here comes Snowball II. This is the one we kept.
All: EWW!!
Bart: We were gonna keep the gray one, but the mother ate her.
All: EWWWWW!!
Martin: Mrs. Krabappel, he's traumatizing the children!
Mrs. Krabappel: As usual, I agree with you, Martin. Bart, shut that off and take your seat immediately!
Bart: Oh, look! This is really cool. When I hit reverse, I can make 'em go back in.
(The whole classroom screams)