The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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I hope you kids are enjoying this [stadium] because you and your children will be paying for this long after the team leaves the city.

Homer: Can we at least get some french fries?
Cheech: Too high in trans fats.
Homer: Awwwwww, stop speaking Spanish.

Marge: Remember, on the road the only vice you can indulge in is gluttony. Save lust and rage for me and the kids.
Homer: Honey, don't worry, I'm gonna come back so horny and angry.

I can't do reefer comedy, I'm drunk! Two different animals.

Bart: Who the hell asre Cheech and Chong?
Homer: Cheech and Chong were the Beavis and Butthead of their day!
Bart: Who are Beavis and Butthead?

Their can do will bail out our won't try every time.

Homer: We're in the same boat.
Pharmaceutical Exec: My boat has me and hundreds of lawyers. Your boat is you and a lot of people with their eyes popped out.

That's great honey, if you were a boy you'd be a scientist.

I was born a rolling 80's, I'll die a rolling 80's.

And I'd like to thank the women who's been inspiring me for the last 25 years... the cute one from The Bangles.

Don't feel bad boy. Everyone makes mistakes. Yours is just public and expensive.

Herman Millwood: Is Bart Simpson here? Because I'm about to make him and his family very wealthy
Homer: Wealthy? Remember the guy that drove you to school that one time?

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 1523 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

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