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The-simpsons

Homer: We're in the same boat.
Pharmaceutical Exec: My boat has me and hundreds of lawyers. Your boat is you and a lot of people with their eyes popped out.

That's great honey, if you were a boy you'd be a scientist.

I was born a rolling 80's, I'll die a rolling 80's.

And I'd like to thank the women who's been inspiring me for the last 25 years... the cute one from The Bangles.

Don't feel bad boy. Everyone makes mistakes. Yours is just public and expensive.

Herman Millwood: Is Bart Simpson here? Because I'm about to make him and his family very wealthy
Homer: Wealthy? Remember the guy that drove you to school that one time?

What has she done!? I feel like I'm married to Richard Gere.

A lot of great movie stars have gray hairs. Like all those women we loved in the 80's.

Apu: Mr. Homer, you inadvertently left your nuclear power plant ID in the birthday card rack.
Homer: I can't lose that, it's the best picture I have.
Apu: I am more concerned with global terrorism. America's enemies would give anything for your nuclear knowledge.
Homer: Yeah. I do know a lot about nuclears.
Apu: And America has so many enemies: Iran, Iraq, China, Mordor, the hoochies that laid low Tiger Woods, undesirable immigrants, by which I mean everyone that came after me, including my children.

I never thought of fatherhood as something that could affect a kid.

Life was so much easier when a machine told you when to laugh.

Homer: Oh, you beautiful man!
Flanders: That feeling is mutual of Omaha.
Homer: God, you're hilarious!

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 1517 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito. Where's my burrito.

Homer

I'm married to the sea, and I'm seeing two of the great lakes on the side. I won't say which ones but it's ERIE how SUPERIOR they are.

Sea Captain
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