Homer Simpson Quotes
Dr. Hibbert: You have twenty-four hours to live.
Homer: Twenty-four hours!
Dr. Hibbert: Well, twenty-two. I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long.
- Permalink: You have twenty-four hours to live. Twenty-four hours! Well,...
Goodbye, Maggie. Stay as sweet as you are. Goodbye, Lisa. I know you'll make me proud. Goodbye, Bart. ... I like your sheets.
- Permalink: Goodbye, Maggie. Stay as sweet as you are. Goodbye, Lisa. I know...
Homer: What are you getting at?
Lisa: Well, you're always trying to teach me to be open-minded, try new things, live life to the
Homer: What are you talking about? Nobody's trying to teach you that!
- Permalink: What are you getting at? Well, you're always trying to teach m...
Marge: Tomorrow night, it might be nice to go out for dinner.
Homer: Tomorrow night? Friday? Pork chop night? Marge! We haven't missed pork chop night since the great pig scare in '87!
- Permalink: Tomorrow night, it might be nice to go out for dinner. Tomorro...
Homer: Okay, okay, where do want to go?
Lisa: Anywhere but hamburgers, pizza, or fried chicken!
Homer: Fine! We'll go to Mars!
- Permalink: Okay, okay, where do want to go? Anywhere but hamburgers, piz...
(Homer and Barney drive by Mr. Burns, who is sitting on a park bench.)
Homer: Hey, Burns, eat my shorts! (They drive off)
Mr. Burns: Who the Sam Hill was that?
Smithers: (Looking through binoculars.) Why, it's Homer Simpson, sir. One of the schmoes from Sector 7G.
Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? I want him in my office at nine o'clock Monday morning. We'll see who eats whose shorts.
- Permalink: (<i>Homer and Barney drive by Mr. Burns, who is sitting on a par...
Homer: I just want you to know that I love you, Dad.
Grampa: You do?
Grampa: Oh, son, I love you too. Hey, how about a hug?
(Homer and Abe hug)
Grampa: Sonny boy!
Homer: My old man.
(Homer crosses "Make peace with Dad" on his list.)
- Permalink: I just want you to know that I love you, Dad. You do? Uh-huh...
Lenny: Hey, Simpson, I heard Mr. Burns crushed your boy!
Homer: Yeah, if I wasn't so spineless, I'd march right into his office right now, and...
Smithers: Simpson! Mr. Burns wants you to march into his office right now
- Permalink: Hey, Simpson, I heard Mr. Burns crushed your boy! Yeah, if I w...
Dr. Nick: Bad news. Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at the X-rays. See that dark spot there? Whiplash.
Homer: Whiplash? Oh no!
Dr. Nick: And this smudge here that looks like my fingerprint? No, that's trauma.
Bart: Am I going to die?
Homer: (Sobbing) Yes! You're going to die!
- Permalink: Bad news. Your son is a very sick boy. Just look at the X-rays. ...