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The-simpsons

Mr. Bergstrom: There is a wonderful girl's future at stake.
Homer: Well, if she's so wonderful, give her an A!
Mr. Bergstrom: I am giving her an A.
Homer: Great, but don't tell her it was a favor to me. Tell her she earned it.
Mr. Bergstrom: Mr. Simpson, she did earn it.
Homer: You are smooth, I'll give you that.

Homer: Lisa, don't hold anything back, you can tell me. Are you crying 'cause you called daddy a baboon?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Nuts.

Burns: You're the fattest thing I've ever seen, and I've been on safari!
Homer: If you need me I'll be in the refrigerator! (starts crying)

Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No!!!!
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: No! No! No! NOOO! If I take you will you two shut up and quit bugging me!
Lisa: Yeah of course!
Bart: Well?
Bart/Lisa: Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Homer: YES!
Bart/Lisa: Thanks, dad!

Homer: I'm a big fat pig!
Marge: Now Homer, you do have big bones.
Homer: Marge, nobody gains 30 pounds of bone!

(Grampa comes home and forgives Homer.)
Homer: Dad?
Grampa: Sonny boy!
(The two hug.)
Grampa: Is there room at your table for a foolish old man?
Homer: Well, sure! Eh, we'll have to move a chair in from the den. But it's no problem. Bart!

Bart: Ya know, Grampa kinda smells like that trunk in the garage where the bottom's all wet.
Lisa: Nuh-uh. He smells more like a photo lab.
Homer: Stop it, both of you! Grampa smells like a regular old man, which is more like a hallway in a hospital.
Marge: Homer, that's terrible! We should be teaching the children to treasure the elderly. You know, we'll be old someday.
Homer: (Gasps) My God, you're right, Marge! You kids won't put me in a home like I did to my dad, would ya?
Bart: Well
Homer: (Screams) Marge, what do we do!?

(At Bea's funeral.)
Homer: I can't tell you how sorry I am, Dad.
Grampa: (Sarcastically) Is someone talking to me? I didn't hear anything.
Homer: Oh no! Dad's lost his hearing!

A double cheeseburger, onion rings, large strawberry shake, and, for God's sakes, hurry!

</i> Homer
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