The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons

Homer: You're my personal savior.
Ned: Thank you but i don't approve..
Homer: Hail flanders, mightier than jesus

She's the most evil person to come out of Ohio since LeBron. But at least he thought long and hard before screwing everybody over. In public. For no reason.

If an emergency alarm goes off, there's ear plugs in the top drawer.

Marge, get my seal club, the big one.

For further communication I will require more beans.

Halloween - the one time of the year where the squalor of our home works to our advantage.

I'm the floor. I can't move. So far a normal Sunday morning...

So much violence on the surface world, I'm going back.

No! Not the middle seat!

Wayne: Your town appears on no maps or charts.
Homer: Yeah, they couldn't find a Google map photo without me naked or urinating.
Marge: And when there was a map makers convention here, we all got Lou Gerig's disease.
Homer: Not the one you're thinking of though, there's another one.

I guess it's not much when you look at real problems in the world like Major League umpires not using instant replay.

Homer: My doctor said don't walk.
Marge: That was a traffic signal!

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 1523 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

× Close Ad