The Simpsons

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The simpsons
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Homer: Can you be my dad?
Robert: If your mom was a secretary, there's a good chance I am.

Robert: There ain't enough bourbon in kentucky for you big guy.
Homer: Yeah, the governor wrote me a letter to that effect.

Robert: I have to warn you, account men have no souls.
Homer: Woohoo! No more church!

Homer: It's not illegal to sleep inside a tyrannosaurus head.
Security Guard: Sir, you're inside an allosaurus.
Homer: I demand to speak to my paleontologist.

British Fonzie is right.

Homer: The point of the dinosaurs is: no matter what we do, an asteroid is going to wipe us out. So we should party hard and wreck the place!

I've come around on hipsters. It takes a lot of guts to all wear the same hat.

I don't eat anything new unless I've tried it before.

Marge: What if we roll pennies and go to the dollar store?
Homer: That's good, Marge. Get all the terrible ideas out of your system.

Marge: How come they never call me fun mom?
Homer: A family's like a team. On every team you have the slam dunking mega star and the referee.

From the dad that brought you cemetery paintball and go carts on real roads..

Homer: I won't say, but his initials are S.F.
Roz: Stupid Flanders.

Displaying quotes 121 - 132 of 1523 in total
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