Homer: Marge, this is it. TEOTWAWKI.
Marge: The end of the world as we know it?!?

I guess despite all our so-called civilization, anarchy lurks around every corner like a racially diverse street gang on a network cop show.

Bart: Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail?
Homer: I don't know; feed it to the dog.
Bart: You'd have to wrap cheese around it.
Homer: Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog!

Well, that's just how dogs are. The most disloyal, unfaithful creatures god ever made.

That's right, your lord sticks his hand in his pants. And yes, it is the same hand I tapped you with.

No one judges my wife's thunder bags.

Wearing scarves in non-scarf weather is the essence of cool.

Marge: You're all bald.
Homer: No, I'm young person cool-bald. Not old person sad-bald.

Beat it, ducks! I'm not old enough to have food for you. I'm sexy. Young and sexy!

Dan: How do you keep finding me?
Homer: You really should tweet less.
Dan: But everyone deserves to know what I'm thinking all the time.

A paper-based read-a-ma-jig? What are we, cavemen?

Free Tibet! You heard me, free him now!

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Labor Inspector: This plant violates every labor law in the book. We found a missing Brazilian soccer team working in your reactor core!
Mr. Burns: That plane crashed on my property!