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The-simpsons

You've learned a very valuable life lesson, boy, which is that love doesn't exist except briefly between a man and woman before marriage. After that it's just hanging out with someone who kinda hates you but you can't get it together to leave.

Bart: Come on, Dad, you love New York, now that your two least favorite buildings have been obliterated: Old Penn Station and Shea stadium.
Homer: Lousy out-dated relics.

I cheat on my diet, but nobody knows cause the damage is on the inside and the first warning sign is sudden death.

Hmmm...historically inaccurate.

Homer: People here do not respect boundaries.
Ned: Homer, did you just buckle your belt through my loop?

Cleatus the football robot, you're my only hope.

Homer: And now because it's after noon, I can go to Moe's without having a "drinking problem."
Moe: Hey Homer, I could hear your pathetic rationalizing through the door.

Lenny: Trouble in paradise?
Homer: No, my marriage.

Homer: Now that's what I call a snappy retort.
Marge: Stop saying what you call things! I'm trying to watch the movie.

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