The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Homer: A-camping we will go
Marge: But where I still don't know
Homer: A place that's filled with sun and sand, a desert steamed from Disneyland, keep expectations low.

Oh Marge I can't stand it when you cry at dinner. The pork chops look traumatized, the mashed potatoes can't stand to watch, even the children seem upset.

Don't drink my loved ones

Wait, I finally get what you're saying. Fracking is great, but the only place it should ever happen is in other people's towns.

The power of Chrysler compels you!

The bed is lifting me, the elevator at work can't even do that.

You went to Hell and came back a winner like Jesus

It's in Hell, the Inferno, Perdition, Arizona without the golf

Homer, if I ever seem that senile, get a gun and...what are you doing with that gun?!

Grandpa

Well family, we should be proud. We took on corporate America and broke even.

Homer: Marge, did you replace our regular mirror with a magical mirror from a mystical salesman at a weird store that if we went back to find it it wouldn't be there anymore?
Marge: No
Homer: AAAAHHH!!

Homer: Marge, who would give up eating steak in the matrix to go slurp goo in Zion?
Marge: We don't have that movie here.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1527 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!