Homer Simpson Quotes
Bart: Dad, are you gonna snitch on me?
Homer: Moes before bros.
Oh, you must be Flanders' new dog. I just want to apologize in advance for the things I'm gonna blame on you.
Marge: I'm not giving up on Bart, just like I didn't give up on our marriage when you quit your job to start the North American Sumo League.
Homer: The NASL would have made money if someone had washed a few sumo loin cloths for me.
Marge: I said I would do yours, but not the whole dojo.
But it's not on the calendar? Okay, but if I'm sleepy at work tomorrow I get to tell everyone why.
Oh God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them, like email updates from LinkedIn.
Princess Kemi: So, all these concubines belong to this one tyrant?
Homer: It's called The Bachelor.
Homer: She's gone!
Moe: And she trashed my bar! Oh no, wait, she actually cleaned up a little bit. Good for her.
They say you catch more flies with honey, I say with fly traps.Mr. Burns
The only reason you haven't been fired is because your file here has been holding up a sofa that was missing a leg.Moe
Look Moe the least you can let me do is anything I want.
Homer: Marge I believe you're forgetting America's greatest wartime wheelchair-bound leader, Professor X of the X-Men.
Marge: It's not that Professor X wouldn't get up, it's that he couldn't!
Marge, you're my wife of ten years and I love you, but I must observe the teachings of this man I just met tonight. Now the first thing I have to do is make amends with the bathroom scale.