Maybe the next time you can pull over my brother for tweeting while driving and lock him up for a couple days.

I am better at starting relationships than deepening them.

Jill: So what was it like to watch your little brother get married?
Hank: It was weird. To me he's still the kid who ate $.85 in nickels on a dare.

Eddie R. [about Hank's cell phone]: Really, Hank, On Hannukah?
Hank: I am so sorry, Rabbi Lawson!

Owen: I know you're thinking that Owen has gained a few pounds since the last time you saw him. But I want you to know, I am on The Lipitor.
Hank: Do you know that The Lipitor is not the substitute for the good eating habits?

That's not appropriate Ken, that's not appropriate.......

Shadow Pond—I'm being summoned.

We were discussing Harper's mad volleyball skills.

Hank: I do know my way around a Parcheesi board.
Evan: And Grandma's too. Wait ,that didn't sound right did it?

Evan: You came back because of a patient?
Hank: I thought so. But now I think I used a patient to hold myself back.

I am never done with a patient who needs my help.

It's your magic bag now.

Royal Pains Quotes

(after Hank convinced Marshall Bryant to get clean from alcohol and drugs)
Marshall: Well, Hank deserves credit for leading me to water.
Hank: Hey, I can lead the horse, but I can't make him drink... or not drink. You know what I'm saying.

Divya: Hank, this is Kylie.
Kylie: I'm the disgruntled mistress.
Hank: Hello. Nice to meet you.
Kylie: It's 'cause I didn't go to college and I hate retail.