Hank: Dude, what are you doing?
Evan: I can't just leave you high and dry.
Hank: I'll be low and wet, I promise.

Hank: Dude, do you really need to take all that?
Evan: I am prepared for every contingency.

Hank: Dad, I want you to know how proud I am of you for going through with this.
Eddie: Proud of me going to prison?

Evan: Thanks for a great summer Divya.
Hank: We couldn't have done it without you.

(to Eddie) Dad, look at me. There are no more moves left to make. In forty-eight hours you are going to prison.

Jill: Hey, did Divya ever mention a guy? You know what. Not important.
Hank: A patient, Adam.
Jill: You do know.
Hank: I know it's complicated.
Jill: Yes it is.
Hank: And not really our business.
Jill: No it isn't.
Hank: And we probably shouldn't be discussing it.
Jill: But we are.

Hank: You're up early.
Evan: That would assume that I went to sleep.

Hank: What? You sleep out here each day?
Pete: You believe lightening can strike twice?

Hank: Infant formula? Really?
Evan: Yeah, I got those on sale.

Natalie: Did you figure it out?
Hank: I think I'm Going To Be Sick.
Hank: A plus doctor.

Hank: Are you seriously pulling doctor patient confidentiality on me?
Emily: Sorry.

Hank: What's going on?
Jill: They're filming a realty TV show. Apparently all you need is a camera and people with no shame.

Royal Pains Quotes

Yeah, dude. Don't punk the crackberry. She'll light your ass up like a Christmas tree.


Note to self, become a doctor.