No, you made me feel bad about myself, and I deserve better than that. Ok?

Haley

Her therapy dog got the flu, so I get to ride first class. Well, on her lap.

That's right. I'm a little smarter than people think. But lucky too! That moose almost ruined everything!

All's I know is that you're being a real Capricorn right now. The sun revolves around the Earth and not you.

You're obviously going to get into one of those snooty schools, and sometimes you're gonna come in second. Or fourth. Or maybe even tenth. But you're gonna dust yourself off, maybe put on some lipstick for once, and keep going.

Haley

Claire: I asked you to clean up the kitchen nine hours ago when I left for work. I come back and it's the exact same mess PLUS pickles and peanut butter.
Haley: I was running around doing stuff for my crazy boss all day, and then I got hungry, and then the smell from the garbage almost made me throw up!

Alex: I know all you had to do to get into their college was like their Facebook page, but this is Princeton. I have to show them that I'm a serious thinker. And you could be a bit more supportive.
Haley: You're right I'm sorry. Your outfit's perfect.
Alex: Thanks.
Haley: If you're applying to lumberjack school. And majoring in having your cats eat you when you die.

Haley [smells pot]: Hey! Smells like a party!
Claire: Back inside.
Haley: Ok.

If it were easy, everyone would be hot.

Haley

Yes I'm a huge dork for celebrating my 21st with my family, but my mom was crazy excited to go to a bar with me, or just go to a bar.

Haley

Claire: Who's Victor? We never heard about him.
Haley: Oh because I knew you'd never let me go out with an ex con.

Haley: Did anyone see my leopard print skirt?
Phil: I saw a leopard headband on the stairs.
Haley: That's it.

Modern Family Quotes

But if you're always telling yourself how lucky you are, it's probably because you're afraid to ask yourself how happy you are. Right?

Dylan

That's the funny thing about marriage, you fall in love with this extraordinary person and over time they begin to seem ordinary. I think it's all the nagging.

Phil