Gloria: Manny! How many times have I told you not to call me mom when you're dressed like an old man!
Manny: Including now? Once.

Don't Bugs Bunny me.

Alex is going to be a very nervous man.

Guys, if we don't figure out a way get out of here soon, we're never gonna make it to the escape room.

Phil

You blew it you dummy. I wanted to sell the stupid sauce.

What the hell?! I'll clean my room. I promise!

Joe

You realize she's not that big, right? It's mostly just hair.

Alex

Mitch: Who are these men?
Cam: What are these things I don't do?

The waiter! I knew he was flirting with you!

We will keep in touch, son.

I don't trust lakes. Where I come from this is where we dump drugs and dead bodies.

I want a White Christmas. You know, like white people have.

Modern Family Quotes

Phil Dunphy this is the year 2025, welcome, you're the first one here.

Phil

That's why we chose our secret warrior signal. My first suggestion was to blow a Viking horn. Don't google that, by the way.

Phil