Jack: I'm proud of you for helping him out, son
Gary: Thanks dad
Jack: You know you have a great big oversized help
Gary: That's why I'm helping him you think?
Jack: No, it's something I keep forgetting you tell you, it's hereditary

Gary: I'm here for you, whatever you need, I'll do it for you. whatever it is you need. I'll help you
Taylor: Hold me
Gary: I'll put the TV on, I'll make you some soup
Taylor: Hold me
Gary: Run you a bath, get you a magazine
Taylor: I am a human being crying out in desperation and need, just come here and hold me!

Taylor: Can I ask you a simple business philosophy question, do you hate making money?
Gary: Yes, I hate making money
Taylor: Well then you are doing everything right. Why don't you use any of the tricks or loopholes or mechanisms I've set up for you
Gary: It's the tricks, loopholes and mechanisms that got me audited in the first place. I'm a house painter, you have my corporate headquarters in the Cayman Islands!

Tom: mom, they have a hamburger that costs $23
Allison: oh
Gary: does it come with a picture of the chef laughing at you?

Dennis [referring to the painters]: Anything you wan to say to m you can say in front of my real friends
Gary: Your real friends? We picked up three of these guys this morning

Anna: I used to kiss my pillow and pretend it was you
Gary: What a coincidence, I used to kiss Allison and pretend she was anyone else

Allison, I have the answer to all your problems, except your stretch marks and screechy voice...damn, we must have gotten disconnected.

Jack: Woh, deja vu
Gary: It's not deja vu, it's the fifth time you walked into the room!

Gary: Are you okay?
Tom: No I'm not okay, my heart is beating so fast my tie is moving

Gary: Hey son, when are you leaving for the big dance?
Tom: As soon as cowzilla rips the roof off and plucks me out

Allison: I have to deposit these; can you stop writing "this is a holdup" on the memo line?
Gary: Come on, it got you on the news!

Gary: What are you talking about? I put everything they had into their backpacks, what did I forget?
Allison: Their backpacks!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 34 in total

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Gary Unmarried Quotes

Louise: Thank you dad, you restored my faith in men
Allison: What'd he do? Wear pants to go get the mail?

Ms. St James: If we're going on a date you should call me erica
Gary: But can I call you ms St James on the date cause that's kinda hot?

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