(on Hyde's history paper)
Laurie: Oh yeah, what'd you get? A D?
Hyde: No. A C minus. (Red and Kitty cheer)
Eric: I got a B.
Red: You couldn't get an A?

Eric: Didn't you just, like, flunk out of college?
Laurie: Get bent, twerp.
Eric: Wear a bra!

(Hyde throws his phone at the wall when he sees Eric)
Hyde: Hey Forman.
Eric: Hi.
Hyde: Come on in. make yourself at home. I'm out of beer, but if you want you could break something.
Eric: Actually, I had my eye on the phone, so...

Eric: Hey, Dad. Can I talk to you for a sec? Do you think that Hyde can stay for dinner?
Red: Eric, again? I can't afford to feed your friend. I can't even afford to feed you, but the law requires me to!

You mess with Eric Forman, you mess with me.

Eric: I killed her. She was old, and the shock of her grandson telling her that she was nasty killed her.
Donna: Have you talked to Red about this?
Eric: I'm not talking to my dad about this. Do you remember how angry he got when I didn't rake the yard? And this is like, twice as bad!

(Eric has just walked in on his parents having sex)
Eric: Okay, uh, we need to get to the hospital now.
Kelso: But what about your mom?
Eric (shouting): Don't you dare talk about my mother!

(after Eric tells Donna he saw his parents having sex)
Donna: I could remember like little bits of naked skin peeking through the holes of the hammock.
Eric: Wow. It's weird but knowing what you went through just makes me feel so much better 'cause you're like totally over it, aren't you?
Donna: And later they came inside and they had like this checkerboard pattern all over their arms and legs! And my dad laughed and said they fell asleep on the hammock. But I knew it was a lie. I knew what he did to my mom!

Eric: So David, still got that big ol' curve in your spine?
Fez: Can I see it?

(about David)
Eric: I don't know. If I hit this guy, Donna's just gonna be pissed.
Kelso: No, man. Chicks dig that stuff! I mean, Leia, right, she acted like she was mad at Han. But I could tell she liked him.
Hyde: Kelso, man, what are you, an idiot? Leia likes Luke, I mean she kissed him on that bridge!
Kelso: Uh! Just for luck!

Fez: I'm so excited about Star Whores.
Hyde: Fez man, it's Star Wars.
Fez: Screw that.
Hyde: Hey Forman, man, this thing better be good. If I don't see some space jugs, I'm going to be super pissed.
Eric: Oh, hey, guys, I heard it was okay.
Kelso: Well, there is no way it's better than the Planet of the Apes. I mean, those apes were really good actors.

Donna: Remember when you beat him up on the playground?
Eric: I kicked his ass.
Jackie: Wait. Wasn't he the kid with scoliosis and asthma?
Eric: Yep. And I kicked his ass.

That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.