Emily Gilmore Quotes
(Luke's diner)
Emily: Anyhow, it's obvious that wouldn't even be appropriate anymore being as I'm probably standing in your reception hall.
Lorelai: Excuse me?
Emily: Burgers and fries for the dinner? The bride walks down the aisle with a ketchup dispenser in her hand.
Lorelai: Please tell me what you're talking about.
Emily: I'm talking about Luke.
Lorelai: Luke? Mom!
Emily: Well, it's obvious, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, it's not, Mom.
Emily: You're with him constantly.
Lorelai: He feeds me.
Emily: You bring up his name constantly.
Lorelai: Once again, he feeds me.
Emily: The moment he calls, you run to his side.
Lorelai: He's my friend, he needed me, I had to be there.
Emily: Yes, I know you did.
Emily: Why can't we have what you and Rory have?
Lorelai: Rory and I are different, Mom.
Emily: You're mother and daughter, we're mother and daughter, it shouldn't be that much different.
Lorelai: No, Mom, it is completely different.
Emily: How?
Lorelai: I grew up in a different environment.
Emily: An oppressive environment?
Lorelai: No, Mom, a different environment, and plus I was so young when I had Rory.
Emily: So just because I waited until I was grown and married to get pregnant, I can't have a relationship with my daughter?
Lorelai: No, it's just...Rory and I are best friends, Mom. We are best friends first, and mother and daughter second, and you and I are mother and daughter all the time.
Emily: I wasn't taught to be best friends with my daughter. I did what I thought was best for you. I did what I thought I needed to do to protect you.
Lorelai: I know.
Emily: (about Lorelai's shade of lipstick) That's a pretty color. What's it called?
Lorelai: "Vicious Trollop."
Emily: Now why do you say things like that? (Lorelai shows her the lipstick tube). Now why would you name a lipstick that?
Lorelai: Because "Dirty Whore" was taken.
(to Lorelai) You're muttering under your breath. Years of experience have taught me that when you do that, it's usually about me.
Emily: They have cucumber slices in the water.
Lorelai: Oh, wow. Now if they have ranch dressing in the soap dispensers, this place is great.
Emily: We intend to leave here completely different people.
Lorelai: Yes, I'm going to be Ted Nugent.
Lorelai: Mom, you signed us up for a couple's massage.
Emily: So?
Lorelai: A couple's massage is for a couple not a couple of people.
Emily: It's more efficient this way. We'll both be finished at the same time.
Lorelai: Mom, do you know what most people who get these massages do about five minutes after it's over? They have sex, together, probably while wearing their robes.
Lorelai: So, Dad, how's retired life treating you?
Richard: Well, fascinating actually! I find myself noticing things, everyday things that I must've witnessed a hundred times before and just walked right pass. Like yesterday your mother moved a vase, the one in the hall, and see didn't do it in front of me
Lorelai: No, no! 'Cause nice girls never move vases in front of men.
Richard: (ignoring Lorelai's comment) and she only moved it a little, but as I passed it by I noticed it had been moved!
Rory: Impressive!
Richard: And everyday is a new discovery! Your mother changed her hair, or she wore shoes that didn't match her purse!
Emily: Richard!
Richard: Last Thursday!
Emily: Oh, for heaven's sake!
Emily: Do you think you'll be single your entire life?
Lorelai: Excuse me?
Emily: I mean in terms of you finding someone, what do you think the odds are?
Lorelai: Ok, what is going on?
Emily: Well, I visited the family mausoleum today...
Lorelai: (to Rory) Never what you think it's going to be!
Emily: If you didn't work so hard you wouldn't have a tension headache.
Lorelai: It's not a work tension headache, mom.
Emily: So, then you are sick.
Lorelai: Actually, I am. I'm sick.
Emily: I knew it. What's wrong?
Lorelai: Consumption with a touch of the vapors. I'm going for a leeching tonight after coffee.
Rory: She's got a case of exterminatoritis.
Emily: What's that mean?
Lorelai: Nothing.
Rory: We have termites.
Emily: Oh, that's terrible.
Lorelai: It's not so bad.
Rory: They're eating our whole house.
Lorelai: But they always say thank you.
Lorelai: You are not seriously sitting there.
Emily: No, it's a hologram. Lifelike, isn't it?
Richard: Lorelai, this is just beautiful. It's like something out of architectural digest, you should be very proud.
Lorelai: Thanks, Dad.
Emily: Lorelai, your dress needs pressing.
Lorelai: Thanks, Mom.
