Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town

Forget for one second that if you let one Torres into your home every second and third cousin on the Eastern Seaboard will drop by to say hi.

Ellie: Eat your chips, Jellybean.
Laurie: I don't wanna.
Ellie. Play with the bag.

Ellie: You use four towels every shower
Jules: Face, body, hair, feet!

Laurie: Wait, why do we have to have coffee over here?
Jules: 'Cause wherever I am is where we have coffee.
Ellie: But this is horrible.

Jules: I fought a bum for wine and lost.
Ellie: Didn't you mom teach you bums always win wine fights?

Jules: It's time to suck up!
Ellie: That's for boys.
Jules: It's time to uterus up!

Ellie: Hey bartender how could you miss a question about bartending?
Grayson: I don't know. You missed the one about blood draining parasites.
Ellie: It's not the same.
Grayson: It is the same.

It chews gum while it eats buffalo wings. How did it beat us?

Ellie: Way to self-compliment.
Jules: I thought I snuck it in there.

Good God. An army of jellybeans.

Ellie: Whatcha got goin' on there Dime Eyes?
Grayson: A big bowl of "we can do this."

I'm eating a big bite of "I was right steak." Mmmm...but it needs something. Maybe a nice glass of 1985 SUCK IT. Ah..so smooth.

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 207 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

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