Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town

Mopey leads right to gropey, fix it or bleed.

Hey Dime Eyes, thanks for letting us elope with you.

Grayson: It's actually illegal for me to sell after I close.
Ellie: That's why I'm not paying for it.

I'm only an okay storm; I'm not a perfect storm.

Jules: I'm sorry we can't hang tonight because we all have a very big important thing we have to go to.
Ellie: That thing got cancelled. I do have a different thing that only I have to go to.

Ellie: I can't be married to someone in public office. Jules, I have to interact with people. You know I hate the people.
Jules: That's what you get for telling Holly our thing was cancelled.
Ellie: You know what I hope? The Karma Gods get you.

Andy: He's your son.
Ellie: He needs to learn.

Park Ranger: You married to one of those guys?
Ellie: No, they're lovers.

How could you not believe me about my mom? You're my best friend, all I ask is that you have blind faith in me, and that you hit me with a shovel if I ever got a toe ring.

I get Big Carl? What's going on? Are you dying?

No wine for you!

Ellie: You're not crazy about the ditzy, trashy, fake blonde, fake tan, fake boobs, club skank you one-night standed to make that baby.
Jules: She says it better.

Displaying quotes 49 - 60 of 207 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

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