Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town

Sweetie, I think the paperboy is here. You want to go throw rocks at him? Okay, nothing bigger than a quarter.

I wish Terry the Train would crash and burn to death in a fire.

Grayson: So Tom has a girlfriend. Does she not like Ellie?
Ellie: What? Why?
Grayson: Just assuming.
Ellie: Fair enough.

Hey Jelly Bean if you're gonna vomit out one of your long, boring ass stories would you do me a solid and raise your hand when you hit the halfway point?

Comfy shoes, wine, are those caper supplies? Is this a caper?

Did you finally get a visit from the nutsack fairy?

I'm sure the jury will understand when Travis is explaining why he broke into the morgue to spoon your corpse.

Jules: This sucks I need Grayson to care about what's going on in our lives. All I ever wanted was to grow old with someone and argue with them while we drink wine.
Ellie: That sounds like us. What do you say we pack it all in and become big ol' dykes?
Jules: No, not yet, but I'd like to know that choice is out there. Stay skinny just in case.
Ellie: Deal.

Laurie: Wait guys, I read something!
Ellie: Already not a true story.

Ellie: Jules Cobb is the light of our group, and as she goes so goes the rest of us. For many years I have been the keeper of that light, but I now pass the torch to you.
Grayson: I'm only taking this torch because I love mime.

I was trying to hide from that one, but he found me.

Already praying for death.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 207 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

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