Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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Sweetie, I think the paperboy is here. You want to go throw rocks at him? Okay, nothing bigger than a quarter.

I wish Terry the Train would crash and burn to death in a fire.

Grayson: So Tom has a girlfriend. Does she not like Ellie?
Ellie: What? Why?
Grayson: Just assuming.
Ellie: Fair enough.

Hey Jelly Bean if you're gonna vomit out one of your long, boring ass stories would you do me a solid and raise your hand when you hit the halfway point?

Comfy shoes, wine, are those caper supplies? Is this a caper?

Did you finally get a visit from the nutsack fairy?

I'm sure the jury will understand when Travis is explaining why he broke into the morgue to spoon your corpse.

Jules: This sucks I need Grayson to care about what's going on in our lives. All I ever wanted was to grow old with someone and argue with them while we drink wine.
Ellie: That sounds like us. What do you say we pack it all in and become big ol' dykes?
Jules: No, not yet, but I'd like to know that choice is out there. Stay skinny just in case.
Ellie: Deal.

Laurie: Wait guys, I read something!
Ellie: Already not a true story.

Ellie: Jules Cobb is the light of our group, and as she goes so goes the rest of us. For many years I have been the keeper of that light, but I now pass the torch to you.
Grayson: I'm only taking this torch because I love mime.

I was trying to hide from that one, but he found me.

Already praying for death.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 207 in total