Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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Laurie: Highway to the lady zone, what what.
Ellie: Highway indeed.

Ellie: We're at a public event this is not the place for ear sex and a full body rub down.
Laurie: All you do is take me granted.

What’s the fun of having a yard sale if we can’t mock the low life's that shop there?

There is no greater tragedy than outliving your own wine glass.

Jules: The mayor’s wife can take a bottle of wine?
Ellie: Uh, no that’s more of an Ellie thing. We should walk faster.

Jules: Hey, does it make me gay if I eat this?
Ellie: I think it does.
Jules: Well I’m doing it anyway.
Laurie: Do you want a fork?

You don’t count she lets you see her naked.

Jules: Ever since I got back from Hollywood I've turned into a real movie slut.
Andy: I think you mean movie buff.
Ellie: No, no she's right, the expression is movie slut - change approved.

Ellie: Stan the bartender?
Andy: We have a son named Stan.
Ellie: Oh, sure sure.

Ellie: I'd be so much of a better husband than you. You're lucky you have a penis.
Grayson: Yup, they're pretty cool.

I don't know what you're thinking, but it's like watching a gay porn with just one dude in it.

Jules: When did you get so good at lying?
Ellie: There's no shortcut. Just practice, practice, practice.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 207 in total