Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar-town

Laurie: I feel like people respect my ideas more when they think they came out of magazines.
Ellie: No.

Ellie: (to Jules about the coffee) It's 7:45am why are you not already serving us?

Jules: Sleepy show is canceled tonight.
Ellie: Damn it.

Ellie: Wow so it's either college twenty minutes away in Sarasota or twenty hours away in California. Which one do you want him to go to?
Jules: Doesn't really matter what I want. It's his choice.
Travis: The weather is so good in California.
Jules: Yeah, and it also has earthquakes and race riots. So you know, everybody just calm down.
Ellie: And there it is.

Ellie: Andy, punishment for cheating?
Andy: Removing my own genitalia with garden shears while you watch.

Sara: Come to dinner tonight. I can't cook, but I'll bring plenty of free wine.
Ellie: Marry me.

Jules: Grayson is totally pursey whipped. That is really gonna catch on. pursey magnet, pursey hound.
Laurie: Pursey cat.
Ellie: That's not how it works.

Nothing could ever make me stop loving you. Except you not drinking. Twelve steps, schmelsteps. Alcohol makes people fun.

Laurie: I'm still young enough that I can totally change who I am.
Ellie: We can only hope.

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