Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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That's the reason I got a Cabana! To avoid guys with barb wired tattoos.

Laurie [to Jules for picture]: Arch your back and stick out your chest
Ellie: And say classy!

You need to warn me when you're going to give me life advice so I can get out my notebook

Listen half pint, I'm not gonna thank you for things you're supposed to do. If I did I'd have to start thanking you for killing bugs and supporting me

Ellie: You totally had sex last night
Jules: How'd you know
Ellie: I'm your best friend, I know these things, plus there's a condom wrapper on your back
Jules: Oh, is it just the one?
Ellie: Good god, Jules

Ellie [about Josh]: He kisses with a perfect seal around you mouth like he's trying to suck your brains out
Jules: I know, but he's gotten so much better
Ellie: That's better?
Josh: I'm gonna get us some more drinks

Ellie: If you don't stop with the hazelnut, I'm gonna make my own coffee
Jules: No you won't
Elie: You're right, even saying it was too much work

[Andy and Ellie watching their sex tape]
Andy: Is my back really that hairy?
Ellie: Yes
Andy: Is this in slow motion?
Ellie: No
Andy: Can we just erase this?
Ellie: Yes

Laurie [about Ellie]: She's hot for a frigid, beastly, elderly woman
Ellie: You think I'm hot
Jules: That worked?
Ellie: Well yeah because if that trashy big lipped slag said it, it might be a little true
Laurie: You think I have big lips? That's really sweet

Jules: Are you watching my sex tape?
Ellie: Yeah, but with the volume off so it's not so weird

Ellie: Why are you out of breath
Jules: Cause I'm sanding down my disgusting elephant heels. With all the shavings here I could make a second foot

Ellie: You know how I take a nap every day from 10 to 11:45?
Jules: Your life is better than mine

Displaying quotes 193 - 204 of 207 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!

Wooo! How can I do woo wrong?

Jules
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