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Cougar-town

Jules: Grayson is totally pursey whipped. That is really gonna catch on. pursey magnet, pursey hound.
Laurie: Pursey cat.
Ellie: That's not how it works.

Nothing could ever make me stop loving you. Except you not drinking. Twelve steps, schmelsteps. Alcohol makes people fun.

Laurie: I'm still young enough that I can totally change who I am.
Ellie: We can only hope.

Jules: She's so young she may actually be from the future.
Ellie: Does her dad work on the moon?

Jules: I had sex in your house. Right over there.
Ellie: So? We conceived Stan on your kitchen island.

Ellie: When Andy and I met, we were in the same circle of friends, but basically, it was just a doink chain that I worked my way around.
Andy: And guess who was last?

Ellie: How are you not embarrassed?
Bobby: Sorry Ellie, can't be done.
Andy: It's true, this is the guy who's main goal in life is to party so hard he craps his pants in every country.
Bobby: I already knocked off America and Mexico. Mexico was easy.

Ellie: We are not friends, human beings cannot be friends with chimps
Bobby: Sure they can. My buddy Daryl was best friends with his chimp, Binky.
Jules: It's true. Until Binky turned six and then he get angry one day and ripped of Daryl's arm.
Bobby: They're still friends, they're just not best friends.

Bobby: What up reading glasses? What'd you get those for your 1000th birthday?
Ellie: You are the only one that finds my deteriorating eyesight amusing.

Ellie: You know what panties are? They're a type of clothes most women wear under their skirts.
Laurie: Pass.

Jules: If you're not going to talk to me, why'd you come back to my house?
Ellie: Cause I'm wet and I know you just recovered your couch.

I'm a very sensual person. I give off intense pheromones. That's why cats don't like me.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 207 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

To sweaty foot wine!

Jules

John Hughes is a God.

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