Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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Fine, beer me!

Ellie: First time I've ever been jealous of you.
Laurie: Thank you.
Ellie: You're welcome.

It's not nice to test friends when they don't know they are being tested.

Jules: All together now -
Everyone: If it's on the internet, it must be true!
Jules: Exactly now, everyone sip please.
Travis: Afternoon booze bags. What are we celebrating now?
Jules: Science.

This one needs it - she holds on like an otter trying to break open a clam.

Andy: Stop - it's just a tiny thing.
Ellie: That's what he said!
Andy: You ruined it. You ruined my gift!

Laurie: I feel like people respect my ideas more when they think they came out of magazines.
Ellie: No.

Ellie: (to Jules about the coffee) It's 7:45am why are you not already serving us?

Jules: Sleepy show is canceled tonight.
Ellie: Damn it.

Ellie: Wow so it's either college twenty minutes away in Sarasota or twenty hours away in California. Which one do you want him to go to?
Jules: Doesn't really matter what I want. It's his choice.
Travis: The weather is so good in California.
Jules: Yeah, and it also has earthquakes and race riots. So you know, everybody just calm down.
Ellie: And there it is.

Ellie: Andy, punishment for cheating?
Andy: Removing my own genitalia with garden shears while you watch.

Sara: Come to dinner tonight. I can't cook, but I'll bring plenty of free wine.
Ellie: Marry me.

Displaying quotes 157 - 168 of 207 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!