And the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist.

Jules, he's an evil genius. He's Keyser Soze.

Look at my rings my rings my rings.

Please, you don't know what it's like to be married to a super sensitive guy. I call them senszies.

Ellie: So Jules, what are we doing?
Jules: Besides cake and wine, I got nothing.

Jules: Ellie Torres, I'm fixing to get mad at you.
Ellie: Really, are you fixing?
Jules: Damn it.

(to Laurie about the pumpkin) Wow, it's like you on a Saturday night.

Ellie: I love pretending that I'm better than everybody else.
Travis: Who do you think I got it from.
Ellie: Awe.

Don't hate the player, hate the game, yo!

Jules: I'm starting a new list. Most boring game?
Ellie: Penny can.

Jules: Come on, gimmie a reason. Crack the code!
Ellie: Why did they take so long to tell you?

Ellie: Are you Cuban today?
Andy: I will be if you like it.
Ellie: Yeah I like it.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Bonnie: I'm not perfect Jules.
Jules: Really.