Ellie: Imaginary hat.
Grayson: Imaginary clown nose.

Trav: What's going on?
Ellie: You're Uncle Joe is dead, but you're allowed to start drinking.
Trav: Sounds like a plan.

Ellie: Sweetie, you need big Joe?
Jules: He'll never leave.

Jules: What are you doing to me?
Ellie: I'm winding you up like a toy robot and letting you go.

(to Laurie) You look like you put your make-up in the floor and roll around in it.

Heads up tiny eyes. Once you go Andy all the rest is blandy.

And the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist.

Jules, he's an evil genius. He's Keyser Soze.

Look at my rings my rings my rings.

Please, you don't know what it's like to be married to a super sensitive guy. I call them senszies.

Ellie: So Jules, what are we doing?
Jules: Besides cake and wine, I got nothing.

Jules: Ellie Torres, I'm fixing to get mad at you.
Ellie: Really, are you fixing?
Jules: Damn it.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!