Ellie: Way to self-compliment.
Jules: I thought I snuck it in there.

Good God. An army of jellybeans.

Ellie: Whatcha got goin' on there Dime Eyes?
Grayson: A big bowl of "we can do this."

I'm eating a big bite of "I was right steak." Mmmm...but it needs something. Maybe a nice glass of 1985 SUCK IT. Ah..so smooth.

Ellie: It is a gorgeous night and I have no kid waiting at home. Shiraz me. Laurie, you are rockin' those jeans. Hi girlfriend!
Laurie: Why's it being nice?
Andy: Is this the golden seven minutes?

If there is a ridiculous Cuban hiding over there, you can tell him that it's fine if he wants to go dancing with Trampface tonight.

Having a baby in your forties is exhausting, and people will judge you if you keep a sippy cup full of wine in the stroller so you can pound grape.

Jules: Ellie is not a morning person. Or a night person. There's really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around.
Ellie: The best part is you never know when they're coming.

Jules: I'm not gonna stand here and be judged by someone who doesn't even have a nineteen year old, and most of all, who thinks there's a ghost in her pickup truck.
Ellie: Then...who keeps moving my sunglasses Jules? Who?

Ellie: I'm gonna say it. The clingy mom act? It's not cute anymore. In fact, it's ugly on you. Just like scarves.
Jules: I look bad in scarves?
Ellie: They give you bird face.

Jules: I put cough syrup in his lemonade and he fell asleep in a hole.
Ellie: You know, out of context, that sounds like a horrible abduction story.

Ellie: Imaginary hat!
Jules: Imaginary hook hands! I don't know what we're doing.

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!