Torres [on dating]: And I *do* know what it’s like out there, Bishop. It’s no easier for a handsome guy. Believe me.
Bishop: Yeah, I believe that you *believe* that, but I’d believe you’d be *wrong*!
McGee [shakes his head]: Unbelievable.

Bishop: Sorry about your wall.
Sloane: Never been a fan of Cheeto-dusted orange, anyway.

Bishop: I thought you said you were gonna--
Gibbs: Lie to Abby? [chuckles]
Bishop: Ha, no! But by ‘no’ I mean ‘yeah.’

Gibbs [translating]: She wants to know why his [Torres] shirt’s so tight.
Bishop: Don’t we all!

Bishop: You know The Rules?!
Torres: I thought it was mandatory.

Bishop: So our intruder accidentally killed himself--
Abby: --with a pipe bomb--
Bishop: --on the roof of NCIS headquarters.

Bishop: So much junk, so little time.
Ducky: Junk, my dear Ellie, is in the eye of the beholder!

Bishop: Where to begin?
Gibbs: Probably with the one labeled ‘Viking War Stick.’

Bishop: Have we got our killer?
Gibbs: Nope. Just a liar.

Bishop: We’re looking for Clyde. We went to his apartment, he wasn’t home.
Clyde’s Brother’s Wife: And you came here?
Bishop: Well, yeah, we figured since you two were sleeping together and all.

Bishop: The inmate Jessica Schaeffer met with was Paul Triff.
Torres: What?! Hold on! As in the guy who carved up three bodies with an electric knife in McGee’s apartment and buried a mummified body under the floor? *That* Paul Triff?

Of course the camera loves Bishop. What’s she got, a wind machine?

Torres

NCIS Quotes

Worry’s a bully. It gives you nothing. It only takes.

Grace Confalone

Dinozzo, let's party!

Schmeil Pinkhas