We figured out your goal. I'm gonna make you the buffest dude Val Kilmer has ever seen.

Dwight: What do you want?!?!
Darryl: To look good for Val!
Dwight: Val Kilmer?!? I don't buy it. That doesn't make any sense.

How do you think the Fonz got so cool? He stretched his pelvic bowl.

Darryl: I figured I'd start slow.
Dwight: Is that the same philosophy you apply to buffalo wings?

Jim: Stop shoving me.
Dwight: Aww, stop shoving me. Stop grabbing my penis. Grow up.

Does your husband have very soft erections?

Jim has no discernable sense of humor Pam. You should know that.

Pam: And I make sounds much worse than this?
Dwight: Oh we know.

Pam: What are you doing?
Dwight: What does it look like I'm doing? Digging a grave for a horse.

Dwight: Can you tell me now where paper comes from?
Kevin: The man tree puts its penis...

There's no way he hasn't strangled at least one stripper. Oscar.

Dwight: Robert's favorite songs: "Creep" by TLC, "Creep" by Radiohead. Remember that one Jim?

The Office Quotes

Jan: All right, well are you gonna take care of this?
Michael: Yeppers.
Jan: What did I tell you about "yeppers?"
Michael: I don't... remember.
Jan: I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
Michael: Yeesh...

Michael: I love you, Jan.
Jan: Okay.