Dwight: Is there a belt above black?
Jim: You should ask him. It's a color you would never expect.

Phyllis: What's he doing?
Dwight: He's searching out younger gays.

You told me there was a rule. I could have choked so many people by now!

Dwight: Jim, tell him wear he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge!

I wonder if king size sheets are called presidential sized in England. I really should have a tweeter account.

Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity.

Jim: The raise isn't real.
Dwight: Money isn't real ever since we got off the gold standard.

Those who can't farm, farm celery.

The fact that she could show her face around here is an embarrassment. I should know, I'm in an identical situation.

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