Jim: The raise isn't real.
Dwight: Money isn't real ever since we got off the gold standard.

Those who can't farm, farm celery.

The fact that she could show her face around here is an embarrassment. I should know, I'm in an identical situation.

Jim: Why is there so much saliva?
Dwight: All I had to do was think about pie and my salivary glands did the rest.

Okay, okay. I will be the first to admit it. We could have integrated more Chuck into the presentation.

A real man swallows his vomit when a lady is present.

Jim: How many buttons do you have?
Dwight: 40...always.

Genghis Kahn could take them both down, because he's not afraid to kill children.

I'm a decent baiter. My cousin Mose, that's a master baiter.

Dwight: What is the antidote?
Jim: True love's kiss.

Dwight: It's just stress, 'cause I care about this project. Frankly, the fact that none of you are vomiting or diarrheal right now, I find very alarming.
Erin: Who says none of us are diarrheal?

Ryan: What were the criteria for going?
Dwight: It might be innate goodness versus innate badness.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 634 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael
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