Dwight Schrute Quotes
Jim: The raise isn't real.
Dwight: Money isn't real ever since we got off the gold standard.
Those who can't farm, farm celery.
The fact that she could show her face around here is an embarrassment. I should know, I'm in an identical situation.
Jim: Why is there so much saliva?
Dwight: All I had to do was think about pie and my salivary glands did the rest.
Okay, okay. I will be the first to admit it. We could have integrated more Chuck into the presentation.
A real man swallows his vomit when a lady is present.
Jim: How many buttons do you have?
Genghis Kahn could take them both down, because he's not afraid to kill children.
I'm a decent baiter. My cousin Mose, that's a master baiter.
Dwight: What is the antidote?
Jim: True love's kiss.
Dwight: It's just stress, 'cause I care about this project. Frankly, the fact that none of you are vomiting or diarrheal right now, I find very alarming.
Erin: Who says none of us are diarrheal?
Ryan: What were the criteria for going?
Dwight: It might be innate goodness versus innate badness.