Jim: The raise isn't real.
Dwight: Money isn't real ever since we got off the gold standard.

Those who can't farm, farm celery.

The fact that she could show her face around here is an embarrassment. I should know, I'm in an identical situation.

Jim: Why is there so much saliva?
Dwight: All I had to do was think about pie and my salivary glands did the rest.

Okay, okay. I will be the first to admit it. We could have integrated more Chuck into the presentation.

A real man swallows his vomit when a lady is present.

Jim: How many buttons do you have?
Dwight: 40...always.

Genghis Kahn could take them both down, because he's not afraid to kill children.

I'm a decent baiter. My cousin Mose, that's a master baiter.

Dwight: What is the antidote?
Jim: True love's kiss.

Dwight: It's just stress, 'cause I care about this project. Frankly, the fact that none of you are vomiting or diarrheal right now, I find very alarming.
Erin: Who says none of us are diarrheal?

Ryan: What were the criteria for going?
Dwight: It might be innate goodness versus innate badness.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 634 in total

The Office Quotes

Robert: You want a three and a half day weekend for Columbus Day?
Andy: Yes I do.
Robert: And you are aware Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans?
Andy: I don't care.

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy
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