Now you're locked in a prison bus and your woman drips with beverage.

No nobbies, no probbies. Nice try Jim.

It's a wire people. I'm not buying it a fur coat.

People laughed at Klingon at first, and now you can major in it.

Ah, French. It's a great language...if you're a chain smoking acrobat.

They say you only live once, and I'm about to prove it.

Dwight: Is there a belt above black?
Jim: You should ask him. It's a color you would never expect.

Phyllis: What's he doing?
Dwight: He's searching out younger gays.

You told me there was a rule. I could have choked so many people by now!

Dwight: Jim, tell him wear he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge!

I wonder if king size sheets are called presidential sized in England. I really should have a tweeter account.

Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity.

The Office Quotes

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

Michael (to Gabe)

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael