Now you're locked in a prison bus and your woman drips with beverage.

No nobbies, no probbies. Nice try Jim.

It's a wire people. I'm not buying it a fur coat.

People laughed at Klingon at first, and now you can major in it.

Ah, French. It's a great language...if you're a chain smoking acrobat.

They say you only live once, and I'm about to prove it.

Dwight: Is there a belt above black?
Jim: You should ask him. It's a color you would never expect.

Phyllis: What's he doing?
Dwight: He's searching out younger gays.

You told me there was a rule. I could have choked so many people by now!

Dwight: Jim, tell him wear he can stick his grapes.
Jim: In the fridge!

I wonder if king size sheets are called presidential sized in England. I really should have a tweeter account.

Neither of those looks like any person that has ever existed or been dreamt of in the history of human insanity.

The Office Quotes

Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael