Joke's on you buddy. They make you come back and clean it up.

Yes we will be delivering a shipment of paper today, but I will also be delivering you a big shipment of fun!

It can't be more fun the selling paper and paper products.

I'll be damned if I'm gonna let us lose me.

Clark: All that really specific cat turd business, that was about you right?
Dwight: You got me...I used to collect them.

Client: There he is; my son.
Dwight: He's got cat turd collector written all over him.

You can make it in 30 minutes if you drive 240 miles an hour.

Dwight: I hope you've been paying your wig storage bills Jimbo, because it's time for another episode of Handsome and Stinky: Paper Brothers For Hire.

Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, lice are the ones I detest the most. My first day of school, I had lice, and no one would play with me. For 15 years, they called me freak and four eyes and sci-fi nerd and girl puncher. All because I had lice when I was 7.

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