I always wanted to be hay king... but the world shines on Mose.

Did I truck three hundred bails of hay to a parking lot to rectify some childhood disappointment? Yes.

Dwight: The petting zoo closes at 2:00, and the goat roast starts at 3:00.

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Everyone follow me to the shelter. We have enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a very difficult conversation.

You been with a blonde before? It's the big leagues.

In the Schrute family the youngest child always raises the others. I've been raising children since I was a baby.

Tonight might be a convenient night for us to have some intercourse.

Of all feelings to base a show around, glee? Thirst, now that's a show I'd watch.

Hello, it's Dwight from the vestibule. You wanna know my 11th commandment? I will not be undersold. I am ready to love thy neighbor with these kinda discounts.

As a gift to this beautiful congregation I would like to offer...a four percent discount on all Dunder Mifflin/Sabre products, if you buy a printer at full price.

Pam: It's just that if a vampire coughed he would do it like this (coughs into crook of elbow).
Dwight: Right, and ruin their cloaks? Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? 'Cause of the Euro.

I know how to sit on a fence. Hell, I can even sleep on a fence. The trick is to do it face down with the post in your mouth.

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 634 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight
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