I always wanted to be hay king... but the world shines on Mose.

Did I truck three hundred bails of hay to a parking lot to rectify some childhood disappointment? Yes.

Dwight: The petting zoo closes at 2:00, and the goat roast starts at 3:00.

  • Permalink:
  • Added:

Everyone follow me to the shelter. We have enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a very difficult conversation.

You been with a blonde before? It's the big leagues.

In the Schrute family the youngest child always raises the others. I've been raising children since I was a baby.

Tonight might be a convenient night for us to have some intercourse.

Of all feelings to base a show around, glee? Thirst, now that's a show I'd watch.

Hello, it's Dwight from the vestibule. You wanna know my 11th commandment? I will not be undersold. I am ready to love thy neighbor with these kinda discounts.

As a gift to this beautiful congregation I would like to offer...a four percent discount on all Dunder Mifflin/Sabre products, if you buy a printer at full price.

Pam: It's just that if a vampire coughed he would do it like this (coughs into crook of elbow).
Dwight: Right, and ruin their cloaks? Do you have any idea how expensive wool is in Transylvania? 'Cause of the Euro.

I know how to sit on a fence. Hell, I can even sleep on a fence. The trick is to do it face down with the post in your mouth.

The Office Quotes

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

Michael (to Gabe)

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael