Dwight: You got this Kosher certified?
Ryan: No I meant it like, it's cool, it's Kosher, it's all good.

Schrutes are farmers by hobby and traders by trade.

Dwight: Who's dirt box is this?
Holly: That's our zen garden.
Dwight: What are you growing here, bull crap?

Dwight: Who is Justice Beaver?
Jim: It's... a crime-fighting beaver.

Kevin will be eaten. Pam will be taken slave. Jim will be made a Warlord's jester. Meredith will be okay.

He cut the part where my circuit board malfunctioned? Then what was the point of spilling the drink on me?

Dwight: Do more stupid faces!
Kevin: Which one? I have a lot of stupid faces.

Michael: Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight: Movie idea?
Michael: Noooo...Saving the world has never been this hard.

Dwight: And what is the hookup zone policy on masturbation?
Michael: Pro.

I can think like Michael. Alright, I'm deep below the ocean's surface in a submarine. A torpedo is coming right at me...No! Damn it! That's just my own imagination.

You drive. I got a car full of fox meat.

Problem solved everyone. Space Orphan and Princess Nincumpoop are off to rescue Michael.

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy