Dwight: You got this Kosher certified?
Ryan: No I meant it like, it's cool, it's Kosher, it's all good.

Schrutes are farmers by hobby and traders by trade.

Dwight: Who's dirt box is this?
Holly: That's our zen garden.
Dwight: What are you growing here, bull crap?

Dwight: Who is Justice Beaver?
Jim: It's... a crime-fighting beaver.

Kevin will be eaten. Pam will be taken slave. Jim will be made a Warlord's jester. Meredith will be okay.

He cut the part where my circuit board malfunctioned? Then what was the point of spilling the drink on me?

Dwight: Do more stupid faces!
Kevin: Which one? I have a lot of stupid faces.

Michael: Boner Bomb starring Jason Statham. Or go against type with an Eisenberg or Michael Cera.
Dwight: Movie idea?
Michael: Noooo...Saving the world has never been this hard.

Dwight: And what is the hookup zone policy on masturbation?
Michael: Pro.

I can think like Michael. Alright, I'm deep below the ocean's surface in a submarine. A torpedo is coming right at me...No! Damn it! That's just my own imagination.

You drive. I got a car full of fox meat.

Problem solved everyone. Space Orphan and Princess Nincumpoop are off to rescue Michael.

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.

Andy