Jim has no discernable sense of humor Pam. You should know that.

Pam: And I make sounds much worse than this?
Dwight: Oh we know.

Pam: What are you doing?
Dwight: What does it look like I'm doing? Digging a grave for a horse.

Dwight: Can you tell me now where paper comes from?
Kevin: The man tree puts its penis...

There's no way he hasn't strangled at least one stripper. Oscar.

Dwight: Robert's favorite songs: "Creep" by TLC, "Creep" by Radiohead. Remember that one Jim?

Bert: What do you like? Tornados?
Dwight: Try influenza.

Dwight: I can get you exotic meats...hippo steaks, giraffe burgers.
Robert: We'll talk.
Dwight: It'll all be goat.

Jim: This is literally how they built the pyramids.
Dwight: Well they whipped people, which was helpful.

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