Dwight: I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior.
Jim: I promiseeeeed other people that I'd be on my worst behavior, and I gave 'em my word so...

I will never be happier than I am right now. I will also never be less happy. I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life, because I am manager of the Scranton Branch of Dunder Mifflin...acting manager.

If I wanted to see a pissing contest I'd lock Mose in the chicken coop.

Deangelo, tell your whore to leave me alone!

What's the argument here? NBA, WNBA. One is a sport. One is a joke. I love sports. I love jokes. Room for all.

Congratulations on your one cousin. I have 70, each one better than the last.

Once you see sausage being made, all you wanna do is make sausage cause it's so much fun.

Michael: I am told there are bears in the Rockies.
Dwight: Where'd you here that? Obvious XM Radio?

Dwight: I just don't see the point of the Dundies, okay? The jokes are terrible, the venue was bad, the fashion was boring.
Michael: Okay, that is unfair. The clothing was safe but tasteful.

Always the padawan, never the jedi.

Dwight: Thanks for meeting me.
Michael: Are you kidding? I'd come anywhere to see a turtle.

But in a way the most valuable thing here wasn't a telescope at all. No, it was this packet of beans.

Displaying quotes 109 - 120 of 634 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

If onlys and justs were candies and nuts, then everyday would be un de donkfest!

Dwight
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