Dwight Schrute Quotes
Dwight: I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior.
Jim: I promiseeeeed other people that I'd be on my worst behavior, and I gave 'em my word so...
I will never be happier than I am right now. I will also never be less happy. I will be at my current maximum happiness for the rest of my life, because I am manager of the Scranton Branch of Dunder Mifflin...acting manager.
If I wanted to see a pissing contest I'd lock Mose in the chicken coop.
Deangelo, tell your whore to leave me alone!
What's the argument here? NBA, WNBA. One is a sport. One is a joke. I love sports. I love jokes. Room for all.
Congratulations on your one cousin. I have 70, each one better than the last.
Once you see sausage being made, all you wanna do is make sausage cause it's so much fun.
Michael: I am told there are bears in the Rockies.
Dwight: Where'd you here that? Obvious XM Radio?
Dwight: I just don't see the point of the Dundies, okay? The jokes are terrible, the venue was bad, the fashion was boring.
Michael: Okay, that is unfair. The clothing was safe but tasteful.
Always the padawan, never the jedi.
Dwight: Thanks for meeting me.
Michael: Are you kidding? I'd come anywhere to see a turtle.
But in a way the most valuable thing here wasn't a telescope at all. No, it was this packet of beans.
