House: You're invoking the guy code?
Wilson: We're guys. It's a code.

Wilson: Can I talk to you for a second?
House: I'm interrogating a suspect.

Wilson: We're not gay!
Neighbor: Seriously?

Dr. Wilson: I'm not here for an argument, House.
House: No. Right. That's room 12A.

House: I'm ignoring you to make a point.
Dr. Wilson: The problem with that technique is I have no idea what point you're making.
House: That your idea is implicitly no worth listening to. Doubling your patient's chemo is stupid. Damn, now it's explicit.

House: I didn't realize you'd be in the middle of something.
Wilson: It's a conference room. With glass walls.

I just had a House moment... how cool is that?

Friend: I read somewhere that turkeys know what you're thinking.
Wilson: Then I should stop thinking about German porn.

House: He's a self-important jerk,
Wilson: Seems to be what I'm attracted to.

How you manage to elevate your narcissism to beneficence is masterful.

Dr. Wilson

House: I've decided what I'm going to do about Cuddy and Lucas. I'm going to break them up.
Dr. Wilson: Of course.
House: It's given me a purpose in life. A goal, a raison d'etre.
Dr. Wilson: Albeit a selfish, mean-spirited, childish raison
House: I think of it more as benevolent.

House: You think she'd send me to a vacant lot for Thanksgiving dinner?
Wilson: If she's smart.

House Quotes

You know another really good business? Teeny tiny baby coffins. You can get them in frog green or fire engine red. Really. The antibodies in yummy mummy only protect the kid for six months, which is why these companies think they can gouge you. They think that you'll spend whatever they ask to keep your kid alive. Want to change things? Prove them wrong. A few hundred parents like you decide they'd rather let their kid die than cough up forty bucks for a vaccination, believe me, prices will drop really fast.

House

You're an ass!

Dr. Adams