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I can understand your confusion. I ate a baby for lunch today.

[To Dr. Park] You have to give him something he values more than honor. And you should update your resume.

The thing is House, I don't like you.

Wilson: You're forging my name on prescriptions again.
House: No. Because what you just said implied I stopped.

Dr. Wilson: You're an ass.
House: What, for trying to walk on a freshly mangled leg? Performing surgery on myself? For thinking I could solve my emotional problems with rat medicine? If you're gonna nag, at least have the decency to be specific.

Somehow in your knee-jerk, juvenile way, you tripped and fell into an actual adult response to this.

Disgusting beasts. I don't know why I ever agreed to this bet.

You're a lot of things, House, but you've never been a sadist. You're pummeling an opponent who isn't fighting back.

Dr. Wilson: We are gonna talk about this, and we're gonna deal with this.
House: So I have no choice. Fine. Unless... unless... yes, I do. I do have legs. I see you didn't factor those into your brilliant plan.

Dr. Wilson: Maybe... talk to someone.
House: Already scheduled.
Dr. Wilson: Really?
House: I'm not an idiot. I know I need help.
Dr. Wilson: Okay. That's... great. I meant, like, a counselor.
House: I know.
Dr. Wilson: But you meant a hooker.
House: Yeah. baby steps.

Wilson: She told me you had taken a Vicodin.
House: And then I took A lot more.

I was going to send Chase to tell you what the obvious right thing to do is here is, but then I realized that if you were too stupid to know how stupid that was, you might miss the irony.

Dr. Wilson
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 127 in total

House Quotes

People don't get what they deserve. They just get what they get. There's nothing any of us can do about it.

House

House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater. You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
Jill: Illegal?
House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
Jill: Playdates...
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.