Dorota: We have problem. Doctor's office call four times to say paternity test ready for pick-up. Miss Blair say she busy, but reading Grace Kelly biography all day is not busy, is denial.
Dan: When does Louis get back from his trip?
Dorota: Tonight! And Miss Blair had promised us that she find out who baby daddy is before he get home.
Dan: All right, I have a couple things to do this morning but when I am done I will march her to the doctor's office myself if I have to.

Blair: What if i lose everything?
Dan: You'll still have me.

Dan: Treatment involves trying to make the patient feel again.
Chuck: That's what I was doing before you showed up.
Dan: Well, how about instead of pain, you try to feel good things? I could tickle you.

Nate (to Dan): I was going to ask how your summer's going, but since you're with Chuck, I'm guessing the answer's probably, "Weird."
Dan: Oh, it gets weirder.

Dan: Blair, what's going on? I thought you were mad at me.
Blair: And I forgive you if you shut up and guard the door.
Dan: It's not like you to forgive me. Or run away from a feast.

Dan: So now I just have to make sure the book that chapter comes from never sees the light of day.
Rufus: There's a whole book?

Dan: Hey, what's going on?
Rufus: Lily has another meeting with the decorator. She's redecorated so many times that it looks exactly the same.

Blair: I don't understand, are you following me now?
Louis: No Blair.
Blair: Actually, it's fine if you are. Because I can do this in person then.
Dan: Louis is not here for you.
Blair: He's not? What the hell's going on?
Dan: Louis didn't meet you tonight because he was helping me.

Blair: I am about to call off my engagement. I can't marry someone who doesn't stand up for me. Not even to his own mother. And when I tell him it's over, I'll need to get away. To clear my head. You were in the Hamptons?
Dan: Ah, Ammagansett. Cece's house.
Blair: Is it empty? Take me there.
Dan: Okay.

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