Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Phil: All over YouTube.
Claire: It went viral.
Phil: Some sicko auto-tunned me.

Luke: You yelled at my teacher for calling me special.
Claire: Hunnie that wasn't a compliment.

The way we compete with each other is sick! Two 13-year-olds knew how to take advantage of us.

Claire: I assure you, you are fine.
Phil: That's very comforting coming from a marketing major at a party school.

Honey don't you think it's weird that one of your friends is an 80-year-old man?

Claire: Oh thank God, here comes Phil and the butterball.
Manny: Hey, I have a name!!

Listen to me, your whole life has led to this moment. All the training, the hours of dedication, there's not a soul alive that can touch you when it comes to shopping and baby you know it. Look at me, be you!

Phil: If I had a son I'd want him to be like Kenneth.
Claire: You do have a son.

Mitchell is turning Gloria into mom.

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