Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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I want music and dancing and secondhand smoke!

Claire: Alright ladies. Go home, roll up your hair and clap off the lights because this guy, who I just met, is gonna show me a good time.
Mitchell: If he was straight this would be just like high school.

When did you two become such old women?

I have 3 kids, I've been tired since 2005.

I take my eye off the ball for one minute and I've got one kid in a coma, one with a black eye, and one running a crime ring.

Turns out I've had my super-Dunphy all along.

Phil I think those are jazz shoes.

Claire: None of you believe me so I got proof. You should all be sucking it right now!
Gloria: Claire, please, enough with the sucking it! They're children!

Phil: Guess it's just one of those things that we'll never know, like what really happened to the Titanic.
Claire: It hit an iceberg.
Phil: Maybe.

Sweetheart I would love to be wrong, but I don't live with the right people for that.

Claire: Could you grab an extra virgin-
Phil: I think one's enough for the sacrifice.

Phil: Hey momma bear, you okay?
Claire: Not with momma bear I'm not.

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 170 in total

Modern Family Quotes

It's a body spray called Sex Grenade. One of the divorced dad's in the hotel recommended it.

Luke

Cam: I'm playing a drinking game. It's called everytime I feel depressed about something, I take a drink.
Mitchell: That's already a game. It's called alcoholism.

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