Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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Haley going to college in a miracle, Lily going to kindergarten is the law.

Gloria: I'm pregnant.
Claire: You're gonna get so fat!

Sure I had a little peppermint schnapps at my prom but I kicked my boyfriend out before my parents woke up. It's called respect.

Claire: You look adorable!
Alex: Adorable? I'm not a puppy.

Claire: I say no everyday in this house.
Phil: But at night she's a yes machine.
Claire: No.

Your rebel boyfriend is a Dapper Dan!

If she's going to leave the nest, we'd prefer it's not on the back of a motorcycle.

Okay I want everyone to eat at home because the happiest place on earth is also home to the most expensive churro on earth.

Claire: I did cartwheels.
Phil: Without me?

Phil do we have to go through this again? I told you that I would do everything possibly to make sure that your skeleton ends up in a science class at a women's college.

Phil: I'm just excited. After today you're going to be a councilwoman and I'm going to be a first husband.
Claire: If you don't stop filming, you're going to be MY first husband.

Claire: Hey how come you guys haven't accepted my friend requests?
Haley: I didn't know you were on Facebook.
Alex: Yeah you said it was only for teenagers or people who wanted to have affairs.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 174 in total