Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family

If she's going to leave the nest, we'd prefer it's not on the back of a motorcycle.

Okay I want everyone to eat at home because the happiest place on earth is also home to the most expensive churro on earth.

Claire: I did cartwheels.
Phil: Without me?

Phil do we have to go through this again? I told you that I would do everything possibly to make sure that your skeleton ends up in a science class at a women's college.

Phil: I'm just excited. After today you're going to be a councilwoman and I'm going to be a first husband.
Claire: If you don't stop filming, you're going to be MY first husband.

Claire: Hey how come you guys haven't accepted my friend requests?
Haley: I didn't know you were on Facebook.
Alex: Yeah you said it was only for teenagers or people who wanted to have affairs.

Doesn't he know that tiptoeing around someone like they're crazy, actually makes them crazy?

I can be spontaneous every 4 years.

I live with 4 teenagers, you live with 2 adults.

Sometimes I worry nobody's going to like Alex.

I know it's stupid, but it's nice to know that sometimes you'll fight for me and all I have to do is laugh at some other guy's story.

Phil: All over YouTube.
Claire: It went viral.
Phil: Some sicko auto-tunned me.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 168 in total
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